Snippet Sunday 5/17/2014

Following right along with the last snippet,  we have Nancy and her friend Tamara in their first period class. Enjoy

 

Mr. Johnson was calling roll,  and called out Nancy Moore three times before she blurted out, “Here sir.” This was not going to be a good day, Nancy thought.

Mr. Johnson responded back, “Thank you Miss Moore. I hope you stay awake for the rest of the hour. There might be some important information you might be interested in.” Smiling after he said this, Nancy tried to smile back; but just couldn’t.

She looked over at her friend, with a bail me out please look. But Tamara just put her head down and smiled.

Nancy just hoped the day would go by quick. She was hoping Tamara would forget about the bathroom incident and not asked her about it. How was she going to explain her bizarre behavior?

Stay tune next week when you’ll here the bathroom attendant holla…”Hey big man, go get me a burrito!”

 

Peace out.

 

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10 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday 5/17/2014

  1. You captured the classroom interactions well. I’ve seen that 100 times. My only feedback, and this is just me being picky, is how does Nancy know the teacher called her name three times? If her mind was wandering or she wasn’t paying attention then she didn’t respond because she didn’t hear and if she didn’t hear then how did she know he’d called her name three times… there’s a hole in the bucket…

      1. It would, but then you wouldn’t be in her POV. Maybe have the teacher say something like, “And glad you’re with us the third time I called your name.” I embarrass my students like that all the time. 😉

      2. Yes, that would make sense as long as the whole scene is in the narrator’s POV which is really hard to do since readers are so accustomed to being in a single character’s POV. For example, I read the rest of the snippet as being in her POV… I’m not sure if that makes sense?

        Good luck!

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