Snippet Sunday 1/26/14

Continuing on at the funeral from last week….

 As we stood there for what seemed an hour, a distant older cousin walked up and stood next to my sister. Speaking softly, “I hope you girls will be ok. Your mother loved you girls so much.  She spoke very highly of you two all the time.”  The words just did not sound sincere anymore. “I know how hard it must be to lose your mother at such a young age, but God will see you through this trial. Bye girls. If you need anything, do not hesitate to call.”

 She walked away. My sister or I did not acknowledge her at all. How could she possibly know what really went on in our house? Was she there to hear the screaming and yelling that took place? 

Stay tune next week, when you’ll hear me yell…”bring on the diet!”

Peace

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19 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday 1/26/14

  1. I love that it shows the difference between appearance to the outside world and the reality of the family.

    That said, you might want to clean up some grammar and spelling that kind of jarred me out of the snippet: “an hour” not “a hour,” “thru” should be “through,” and “My sister or me” is just… Would you say “Me did not acknowledge”? Try “My sister and I did not…” or “Neither of us acknowledged…” or “Neither my sister nor I acknowledged…”

    (Sorry. I don’t really mean to sound like “Grammar Nazi.”)

      1. Love the tension coming from the cousin. Nice snippet…I noticed a typo. “She loved you girls so muhe” (she loved you girls so much. Then the sentence about the words not seeming sincere starts to repeat…)

  2. I suppose I have an advantage by having read the first couple of chapters, but I can see where they would feel like this. As Paula (Things I Tell My Sister) tells me all the time – Keep Writing!

  3. sp ck muhe = “much” ?
    And it looks as though a line was repeated.

    Funerals offer lots of opportunity for some great dialogue and you nailed it.

  4. When someone died it’s always like that, there is a bunch of people there to tell you how wonderful they were and how hard it must be for you when they don’t have a clue. As if someone became suddenly the best person who ever lived when they die.

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