I might have posted this before, not sure. If I did, please forgive me! lol
Once again, a moment of embarrassment and agony. Enjoy
All the way into the bathroom my mother followed me! Annoying! “What mother?” She just couldn’t leave me alone, not even in the privacy of the bathroom. Public restrooms, I guess, mean exactly that: public. But still, to follow your own daughter into the bathroom, as if she was going in to check on a five year old, is just insane. That’s typical for her though. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at all by her actions.
She once again asked me the same question when she sees me looking in a mirror. “Still staring at that scar, Nancy? It’s not going to go away. I know you’ve suffered a lot and I wish I could have been there for you. You know how much it hurt me to see you go thru those surgeries not knowing if the doctor would be able to repair the damage without leaving that awful scar.”
Holding back my tears now, I respond, “No mother, you don’t know how much that man has ruined my life. I look like a monster!”
With words of reassurance she utters, “No Nancy, you don’t look like a monster. Why would you even say something so unforgiving about yourself?”
Maybe I don’t look like a monster, but that man turned me into one to his own detriment.
What does your area look like?
Introducing another character…one who Nancy will be involved with. Presidential candidate Jake Patterson. He is on the campaign bus…enjoy.
As I walked to the back of the bus where my room was located, I heard Tex reply “Goodnight sir.” It was a very nice arrangement for the back of a bus. Undressing, I start thinking about Susan. Should I call her? It was midnight in New Hampshire. No, too late tonight. I will call her in the morning. I will be up at six, so I will call her early. An eight am prayer breakfast at the First Des Moines Baptist church, then who knows where after that? Why do I not know? Tex is my campaign manager, he will keep me focused.
I reached into my jacket pockets, and emptied them for the night. The typical shit a man loses in there; gum wrappers, credit card receipts, keys etc. What was this? I didn’t recognize this, a folded piece of paper. I open it slowly.
Nancy? Who was that? Was she the woman at the banquet today? How did she get this in my pocket? Rethinking my actions and movements with her; it must have been during the photo that Tex took. That’s when she must have slipped it in there. What did she want? Here is another number given to me by an attractive woman. The demons are back in full force. There was Sharon, Barbra, and Melody; all like bad hurricanes that left destruction across the path of my life. I didn’t want another detraction to ruin the chances of me becoming president. Throw it away Jake. Just throw it away now!
This snippet is a little long, but it shows the strange relationship that Nancy had with both her mom and sister. Enjoy!!
Nancy’s Mother’s Funeral Scene
I was standing next to my sister, both of us looking down at my mothers body, as it lay in the casket. My sister asked, “Did you love her Susan?” It was hard for me to respond truthfully, but I tried to answer as truthfully as I could. “I didn’t love her, I tolerated her. I wish, well no I really don’t wish you knew all the things that mother put me through. And of all times to discuss our problems, this is not the right time.”
“Perhaps not Susan. I just have wondered over and over how you and mother could have had such a distant relationship. It seemed like it was just yesterday that we were all sitting together at Christmas dinner enjoying each other’s company; knowing now it was all just a fabrication.”
I wasn’t about to get into a heated discussion with my sister over why my mother and me couldn’t get a long. I was tired, I was angry, I did have issues; but I wasn’t about to get into them with my sister.
As we stood there for what seemed an hour, a distant older cousin walked up and stood next to my sister. Speaking softly, “I hope you girls will be ok. Your mother loved you girls so much. She spoke very highly of you two all the time. I know how hard it must be to lose your mother at such a young age. God will see you thru this trial. Bye girls. If you need anything, do not hesitate to call.”
She walked away. My sister or me did not acknowledge her at all. How could she possibly know what really went on in our house? Was she there to hear the screaming and yelling that took place? Was she knowledgeable of the abuse I took? Loved us; I don’t think so.